I need a vacation. I'm thankful that because of how hard I worked last year I get 37 hours of paid vacation time at my work. So I'm going to head up north and go camping. Just me and God. My dad will be there, and I will do some hiking with him, but I plan on mostly just going solo. It'll be a week to relax and unplug (no cell phone or computer or anything) but more importantly to experience God. And I pray I do. I need it right now.
So the last few weeks have been… probably more not so good than good. I almost feel like at times I was turning evil, though it's not true. But just a feeling. I'm trying to remember. I know that stepping up to management at
my job has been somewhat stressful for me. Lots of hours and just about no breaks. With that I almost feel like my life recently has been consumed by work. Though that's not true as well.
Honestly there is no excuse for the last few weeks. I have been lazy and avoiding people and spiritually on a low. With that has come some anger which in that, I did something that was quite stupid. I am so thankful and blessed for the friends and people that God has put in my life. Though I make mistakes and fall, they still love me and are there for me.
One thing I gotta share that God told me once that I will never forget. Jesus always has my heart. Always no matter what He has my heart and He is never letting go. I can avoid Him and run from Him and hurt Him but He still has my heart. He told me this when I was reading John chapter 6.
I say this because these past few weeks I feel like I have been disappointing God and really just not very good, avoiding people and God. But it brings me to tears to be reminded that He still loves me; He does not condemn me; He still has my heart. He is fighting for my heart, He is fighting for my heart.
A friend reminded me of a song today. It's called "How He Loves". She reminded me specifically of the second verse where it says "if grace is an ocean we're all sinking". I just am in awe of that. And then there's the part that says "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves me". That just speaks to me even now knowing what my last few weeks have been. I am sinking in Grace.
I apologize if this blog entry seemed kinda random and skipped around a bit. I hope you made the connection though.
I am sinking in Grace.
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Though I have often failed to obey the moral law, the deeper problem was why I was trying to obey it!
Constantly praying lately for Jesus to have my heart and give me His.
I asked @BarackObama to help & fight. Will you? Click here to add your voice: http://t.co/Xnmpbx0J
Studying Acts 4. I'll be teaching it for the next 3 weeks in House Church! Come and hear the Gospel!
I love being engaged, and I love my fiancé!!
Hey Joshua,
It’s funny how much everyone’s journey can be in completely different places, and yet look very much the same…
What you shared tonight at training is very much where i’ve been for the last couple weeks. I didn’t really think of describing it that way until you started describing yours, and the part about just not fighting really hit home for me. even if what we were struggling with was completely different.
One thing that God has been showing me lately, in light of this pattern i’ve fallen into, is how we CAN always come back, no matter how many times i’ve fallen away, or how long i’ve skipped fighting. yeah, there are still natural consequences, but it’s kinda like just picking up where He and I left off. And it’s the coming back part that matters most. I mean, it’s best if I don’t walk away, but if I do, then coming back is the most important part. I guess that’s just another way of describing grace. :) “come boldly to the throne of grace”…
I hope that makes sense…
Oh, and that “grace is an ocean” line has been running thru my head alot this week too! :P
God bless, Bro!
~LeahJoy~